Marilyn Smith

A close family member who likes to create and then orchestrate family events declared last weekend that most of our immediate family would be drawing names for Christmas gift-giving this year. Yes, Christmas 2010. Re-read the first line of this post.

The question to us was, did we want to play? Our response: no. The name-drawing happened on Sunday. We have since been told how to spend money we would have spent on Christmas gifts in this particular family quarter. Au contraire.

Said Family Member tried a similar ploy a few years ago. Then it was a $5 limit on each gift. We didn’t buy (pun) that one, either.

But back to name-drawing: we did this with my dad’s family when I was really little and still had lots and lots of aunts, uncles, and cousins close by. We’d choose a name and puzzle for a few weeks about what Uncle Shorty or Aunt Hallie might like. It’s an interesting exercise when it involves generational or cultural disparity, and it can be a real money-saver if you are no longer expected to get a little something for everyone in the pack.

But I don’t know what Family Member has in mind this time. If, say, Niece draws Gramma’s name, does she get Gramma one gift? Or is she expected to shop all year long? And are the grandchildren, who already get so many gifts at Christmas that they have to take a nap halfway through opening everything, exempt? Do the adults exchange one gift each but still pile up booty for the little ones? Is the idea to cut back on spending? Teach impressionable minds about generosity or restraint or what’s really important about holidays?

I really don’t want to know. I’ve drawn something else: a line. Neither one of us likes being expected to be some form of generous on specific dates and times and under specific terms. If we want to give someone a gift, we do it. In my view, it’s the spontaneity that makes it truly a gift.

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